The Bitterness of a Backslidden Heart

There is something so heartbreaking about watching someone who once walked with God turn back toward the very place He delivered them from.

They once had conviction and tenderness.
They once cared about holiness, obedience, truth, and the Word of God.

But somewhere along the way...the pull of Egypt started calling again.

And Egypt never calls itself bondage at first.
It calls itself freedom, happiness, “finally living.”
It calls itself “not being controlled anymore.”

But before long, the same place that looked like an escape becomes chains.

And what grieves me is not just that people go back. It is what happens to their spirit when they stay there.

Bitterness starts speaking louder than truth.

Pain starts interpreting everything.

Animosity starts growing roots.

Conviction gets renamed as judgment.

Holiness gets mocked.

Discernment gets called pride.

And the men and women of God who are still trying to walk uprightly become targets.

Not because they have done anything wrong, though, but because their obedience becomes uncomfortable to the one living in compromise.

Sometimes people are not angry at you, 

they are angry at the reminder your life gives them.

They once longed to be used by God in a mighty way, but they wanted the calling without the surrender, the anointing without the dying out, the promise without the yielding. And when their will stayed louder than His, they drifted back toward the very place God had called them out of.

Your worship reminds them of what they walked away from.

Your standards.....of what they laid down.
Your peace.....of what sin stole.
Your obedience....that God is still calling.

And instead of surrendering to that conviction, they criticize the vessel carrying it.

They become harsh, mocking, accusing, vile with their words....always trying to find something wrong with the ones who are still standing.

But underneath all of that anger, there is often a heart that knows.

They know what it felt like to be close to God.

They know what conviction used to feel like.

They know the difference between the peace of 

obedience and the numbness of compromise.

They know Egypt is not home.

But the longer a person stays bound, the more deception starts wrapping around their mind.

Some know they are far from God, but they feel too tangled to come back.

Others have become so deceived that they believe they are still right with Him while living in open compromise. They still know the language, the songs, and they still know how to quote a verse. But their life has drifted FAR from surrender.

And that's a dangerous place to be!

Deception doesn't always look like rebellion with a fist in the air.

Sometimes deception looks like a person saying, “Me and God are good,” while refusing to obey His Word.

Sometimes it looks like bitterness dressed up as discernment.

Sometimes it looks like offense dressed up as truth.

Sometimes it looks like compromise dressed up as freedom.

But God is not mocked.

He knows the difference between a struggling heart and a surrendered one.
He knows the difference between weakness and willful rebellion.
He knows the difference between someone fighting to get free and someone defending the chains.

And still, His mercy reaches.

This is not written from hatred.
It is written from burden.

Because Egypt is STILL Egypt......even when you decorate it.
Bondage is STILL bondage......even when you defend it.
Sin is STILL sin......even when you rename it.
And compromise is STILL dangerous....even when culture applauds it.

But the same God who delivered once can deliver again.

The same God who called you out can call you back.

The same God who broke chains before can break them now.

The same God who gave you truth before can open your eyes again.

But there has to come a point where you stop attacking the people who remind you of Him and start asking why their obedience makes you so angry.

Because maybe it is not them.

Maybe it is conviction.

Maybe it is the mercy of God reaching through the noise, saying, “You do not belong in Egypt.”

Come home.

Not to religion, or pretending.

Come home to surrender.
Come home to truth.
Come home to repentance.
Come home to the God who never stopped calling.

Because Egypt will NEVER love you.
Sin will NEVER free you.
Bitterness will NEVER heal you.
And compromise will NEVER give you peace.

BUT JESUS STILL CAN!