This may be longer than what I usually post, but it has been pressing on my heart for several weeks now.
I remember when the man responsible for the murder of Jacob Wetterling was finally identified. For decades, he carried a secret that shaped his entire life. And when it finally came to light, there was no more hiding. No more running. No more rehearsing a lie.
Now hear me carefully. I am NOT suggesting that exposure equals redemption. Justice matters. The life that was taken matters DEEPLY. The pain of that family matters DEEPLY.
I have often thought about this situation...when law enforcement confronted him and he knew there was no more escaping the truth, there had to have been a moment when the weight of decades dropped to the floor. The secret was no longer his to carry alone. The hiding was over.
Not freedom from consequences.
Not freedom from guilt.
But freedom from pretending.
And that moment has stayed with me. A lot of people judged me for having compassion on this man and being happy for him that the weight of his past was now significantly lighter. But that’s the reality of me. I see beyond the surface people work so hard to maintain. I recognize when something unresolved is speaking louder than the words coming out of their mouth.
There are sins people commit in their youth that do not stay in their youth.
They grow up with you.
They sit beside you at the dinner table.
They whisper when you are alone.
They flare up when someone or something challenges you.
They turn ordinary irritation into volcanic rage.
The act itself may be decades old.
But the secrecy feels current, and the memory still has heat.
There are men who, as boys or young men, crossed lines they never should have crossed. Touched someone they should have protected. Violated innocence. Took advantage of someone's vulnerability, and they buried it under silence and time.
There are women who have manipulated and sabotaged. Spread rumors that fractured relationships. They've weaponized information to control outcomes.
There are people who bullied without mercy, humiliated others publicly, and laughed while someone else spiraled.
There are those who stole, falsified records, cheated systems, and framed others to shield themselves.
There are people who struck in anger. Threatened in rage. Used their strength to intimidate.
The past did not disappear.
It followed.
And here is a fact... NOTHING remains hidden forever.
For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed;
neither hid, that shall not be known. - Luke 12:2
God sees what we hide and He knows what we suppress.
But the torment is not just that God sees.
It's what happens when a person refuses to repent.
When conviction knocks and they silence it.
When it presses and they harden.
When memory surfaces and they shove it back down.
The conscience does NOT die....it burrows.
AND UNDERGROUND THINGS GROW ROOTS!
Shame becomes a shadow.
That shadow becomes defensiveness.
Defensiveness becomes aggression.
Aggression becomes bitterness.
Bitterness looks like strength.
But it is really exhaustion. Painful exhaustion from trying to hold on to a painful and embarrassing secret.
Especially in cases where someone harmed another in their youth and never truly repented.
That angry, suspicious, harsh middle-aged man may not just be “difficult.”
He may be haunted.
Haunted by what he did, by who he hurt, or even haunted by a version of himself he cannot forgive.
Unrepented sin often turns into misplaced rage.
It's easier to criticize everyone else than to sit alone and admit that you were wrong. To admit that you sinned and caused damage.
And the longer that repentance is resisted, the harder the heart becomes. It causes walls to rise. Trust erodes, and division spreads. The anger begins to leak into every aspect and every relationship of your life, and NOTHING remains untouched.
I don't want you to be misled into thinking this is a message of condemnation.
This is a message of invitation.
The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart;
Contrite means crushed open. Sounds painful, doesn't it?
Contrite isn't defensive, or excusing, and it's not minimizing.
Listen to this promise from the Word of God:
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins,
and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. - 1 John 1:9
See that? IF...we confess our sins.... THEN He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins....
Faithful.
Not reluctant.
Not disgusted.
Faithful.
There is a HUGE difference between being haunted and being humble.
Haunted people defend.
Humble people confess.
Haunted people deflect.
Humble people kneel.
God CANNOT heal what we insist on protecting.
But when a heart finally says "I sinned"....without justification, without shifting blame, without softening language… something happens.
Shame loosens!
Rage loses its fuel!
Bitterness begins to thaw!
Walls begin to crumble!
That doesn't erase consequences though. It doesn't undo harm. In serious cases involving harm to others, especially minors, repentance must include accountability, counseling, safeguards, and whatever is necessary to protect those who were wounded.
Real repentance bears fruit!
But, guess what?
God meets honesty with mercy!
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart,
He will not despise it.
He will not turn away from it.
If your heart is honest with Him, if you stop hiding and start surrendering, He forgives. And He doesn't just forgive...He begins healing. He begins delivering. He begins untangling what years of secrecy twisted.
That wall you built to survive may now be the very thing suffocating you!
But, hear me...the moment you lay it at His feet, the haunting can end.
Because freedom is not found in pretending you were never broken.
It’s found in bringing the brokenness into His presence… and trusting that His mercy is stronger than your past.
If you read this and something from your past started peeking out from the corners of your mind… if a memory tightened your chest… if conviction brushed against a place you’ve tried not to visit… don’t ignore that.
That isn’t condemnation, it's mercy knocking.
Please, yield to what God is trying to do.
Find a quiet place.
Sit at His feet.
And lay it out flat and plain before Him.
No fakery.
No performance.
No half-confessions wrapped in excuses.
He already knows.
But you need to say it.
You need to confess it with your heart and with your lips.
Bring it into the open before Him.
Call it what it was.
Own it fully.
And let the tears come if they need to.
Let the weight of it all fall.
Ask Him to forgive you.
Because the same God who convicts is the God who heals. The same Spirit who presses is the Spirit who restores.
Do not harden your heart.
Let Him do the deep work.
Freedom is closer than you think.
He loves you and wants you free!
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