When I Noticed God Stretching Me

God rarely uses comfort as a qualifier.

In fact, most of the time, comfort is the very thing He disrupts before He deepens a calling.

Before God uses you on a greater level, He will almost ALWAYS lead you into places that expose what you think you can’t do.

And it's not to shame you or overwhelm you, but to reveal what has been inside you all along.  You know, the part of you that has been hidden beneath fear, hesitation, and self-doubt.

We often assume that confidence comes before obedience.

But in the Kingdom, it’s the other way around.

God asks you to step first.

The confidence comes after.

Earlier this month, during worship, we sang an incredible song by Eddie James called I Am. The presence of God was so strong that we naturally moved into extended praise afterward. I held the microphone down at my side, lifted my hands, and began speaking in a dialect that was not like my usual tongues.

It was different.  It was firmer.  It was deeper.  

I spoke with authority, confidence, clarity, and power.

Even though I can’t put into words what I was saying, I knew what I was saying. God was speaking directly to me, and I understood every piece of it. With my eyes closed, I had a vision of the heavens opened and God’s glory pouring down like beams of sunlight. It was the most beautiful (and powerful) thing I have ever seen.

THAT was God showing me something! 

He wasn't just showing me His glory.....but my capacity when I wasn’t self-conscious, second-guessing, or trying to control the moment.

A few Sundays later, the presence of God saturated us again....strongly. Only this time, I felt the nudge that I was supposed to give the tongues for interpretation. And immediately, my mind started arguing.

“No, I’m not ready.”
“Oh please, let someone else pick it up.”
And one of the strangest thoughts of all...
“Well… I am confident enough today to not care if I look stupid.”

We DID have tongues and interpretation that morning. But, it wasn’t me who allowed myself to be the conduit.

And as I’m writing this, I’m realizing that this wasn’t a one-off moment. It was week after week. God was steadily moving me closer to the edge of my comfort zone and asking, 

“Will you trust Me here too?”

Then came the next Sunday.

Right before service, my pastor’s wife asked if I could briefly explain my reflection project on the bulletin board, just to help anyone who might be confused or who wasn’t there when it was first introduced.  She did give me the option "if you want to" but in my mind, I wanted to be obedient and I certainly didn't want to feel bad to not listening to her request.

I was going to.
Then I wasn’t.
Then I was.
Then I wasn’t.

(Shoutout to the piano player.....I kept changing my mind and he just smiled and rolled with it like a champ!)

Eventually, I found what felt like the right moment during worship, and I started talking.

And then.....in true Jill fashion....it ran off.

Completely!

It left my mouth, left my brain, and left me standing there with my mouth open and my eyes scanning the room like, “Is this thing on?”

I even caught my pastor giving me his familiar little “oh no - I get it!” smile as I struggled to remember what I was saying.

I had nothing.  BLANK!

So I finally just said, “Let’s continue worshipping,” and we did.

Later, when I got home and talked and laughed about it with my husband....I realized something important.

Even though I felt like a fool…
God still used it.  He used the MOMENT. 

And it wasn't because my words were polished or impressive. Because let's face it.... they were anything BUT! 

It was because obedience still happened.

God showed me something that day.

Stepping out doesn’t always look powerful.
Sometimes it looks awkward and unfinished.  
Sometimes it even looks like silence where you expected eloquence.

BUT He uses it anyway.

God doesn’t deepen your assignment first.....He deepens your capacity.

He shows you that you CAN speak.
That you CAN step out.
That you CAN obey.....even when you don’t feel ready, prepared, or impressive.

Comfort zones keep faith theoretical.

Obedience makes it tangible.

And once you see that you can WITH HIM, He begins to trust you with more.

More responsibility.
More depth.
More authority.

So if you feel stretched right now…
If obedience feels heavier than usual…
If God is nudging you into unfamiliar territory…

Take heart, because, this isn't exposure.....it's preparation.  

He's not asking you to perform.

He's asking you to trust Him.

And even when you feel like you stumbled…
Even when it feels messy…
And even when you think you missed it…

HE IS STILL WORKING!

Because God doesn’t wait for perfection.

He moves through surrender.