The Weight of Being Shut Out

I saw a post last night and it sat with me so personally that it just pained me to know that other's are going through the same kind of struggle that I faced. The post was a woman talking about how giving someone the silent treatment is abuse.

The one that shared the video wrote:

"THE SILENT TREATMENT ISN’T JUST SILENCE. IT’S PUNISHMENT. 

It might look calm on the outside, but inside it leaves scars. Psychologists even describe it as a form of emotional abuse. 

Because silence isn’t neutral. It withholds love. It turns distance into control. It punishes instead of communicates. 

Real love doesn’t disappear when it’s uncomfortable. It doesn’t shut down to make you beg for connection. It leans in. It talks through the hard things. It stays present even when it hurts. If someone uses silence to make you feel small, remember: their silence says more about them than about your worth."

I want to add my two cents here....because this wasn’t theoretical for me.

I was dealt the silent treatment throughout my life, especially by the females in my own family. Sometimes it lasted months. Not days. Months. Being disowned by the very people who were meant to be your safe place creates a heaviness that sinks into your chest, alters your self-worth and identity, and settles into depression. It tears you and your entire family apart quietly, because there’s no argument to point to, no moment to explain.....just absence.

It wasn’t only silence either. It was coordinated. A refusal to speak that extended outward, quietly demanding (through manipulation) that others follow suit. And yes.....this happened even when I was a young girl. That kind of rejection teaches a child that love is conditional and belonging is fragile.

What hurt most wasn’t just the silence.....it was the refusal to take accountability. The unwillingness to address repair. Eventually, I became the one who enforced boundaries and walked away.....not because I wanted distance or didn't love, but because staying meant continually shrinking myself to survive.

If this resonates with you, please hear this: God knows that pain PERSONALLY. He sees the wounds that were never acknowledged and the grief that had no language. 

There IS healing available! 

And it's not the kind that pretends it didn’t hurt....but the kind that restores your sense of worth, teaches you what real love looks like, and reminds you that being silenced does NOT mean you are insignificant. 

You are not too much! You were just asking for what love should have given freely.