When Truth is Twisted

    There’s a certain kind of pain that goes deeper than words. It’s the pain of being lied about......of knowing that someone has twisted your words, misrepresented you, or even spread a version of you that is so far from the truth, that it feels like a betrayal of your very identity.

    I’ve lived through this more times than I care to count, with people that should never hurt you this way.   

    People who I thought were close.....people I trusted...people I love....chose to paint pictures of me that weren’t just inaccurate, they were harmful. And those lies weren’t spoken to my face. They were told to others, behind closed doors, shaping perceptions and creating division. Sometimes, I only found out when I felt the difference in how others looked at me, how they treated me, how they spoke to me. 

    I was left standing in the middle of confusion, grief, and a heavy ache that I couldn't understand.  And when I would ask about it, I was told that I was "stirring up trouble" or being "dramatic".

If you've ever experienced this kind of betrayal, I want you to know that you're not alone.

    Being misunderstood is hard. But being intentionally misrepresented? 

That wounds on a much deeper level. 

It makes you question EVERYTHING...your character, your motives, your relationships. It makes you want to shout the truth from the rooftops just to be heard, just to be seen rightly. I cannot tell you how many times I have sat on the edge of my bed and asked "God, what is it about me that people constantly lie about me and make me look like a monster?"   

    After having to deal with this my entire life, I have learned something important and impactful about it.... 

Sometimes defending yourself only entangles you further in the web that someone else has spun. And sometimes, silence, as painful as it is, is the most powerful position you can take. Not because you don’t have a voice, but because you’re choosing to let God speak on your behalf.

The Lord will fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. - Exodus 14:14

What makes it even harder is when dishonesty doesn't come across as obvious deceit, but instead as charm, concern, or "caring". 

Some people lie not just to hurt - but to manipulate. They twist stories to get what they want from others. They create friction between people so they can control the narrative and stay in the center. And somehow, they always come out looking innocent......
like the victim, the hero, or the one who’s “just trying to help.”

But manipulation is not wisdom. It’s not discernment. And it’s definitely not love.

These six things doth the Lord hate...a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren. - Proverbs 6: 16,19

God sees it. 

Every lie. 

Every seed of discord. 

Every moment you were 

made to feel like the 

villain in someone else’s story. 

One of the hardest things in these moments is not losing yourself in the process. 

Lies can  AND WILL shake your confidence. 

They make you question your worth, your integrity, and yes... EVEN YOUR CALLING!

 But here’s the truth: 

Who they say you are 

does not change 

who God made you to be 

or how HE sees you!

For the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart. - 1 Samuel 16:7

There is comfort in being fully known by the One who formed you. 

He knows your heart, your intentions, your quiet sacrifices. 

You don’t have to perform for Him. 

You don’t have to prove your innocence to the Him.

    One of the most brutal parts of this journey is when the person who lied refuses to take accountability. They won’t admit what they did. They won’t apologize. They won’t even talk about it. They avoid you because they know that you want communication about it.

THAT can leave a wound wide open, bleeding with no closure.

But healing doesn’t have to wait on their apology.

He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. - Psalm 147:3

    God knows how to tend to wounds that other people pretend don’t exist. He knows how to restore what dishonesty tried to steal (your peace, your joy, your clarity).  

AND HE WILL DO IT! 

So, if you've gotten this far in the blog, I'm sure you're asking me HOW to go about dealing with this?  What DO you do when people you love and care about lie and manipulate to and about you?

• Stay grounded in truth. GOD'S TRUTH about YOU!  If you are unaware of it, get out your Bible and search the scriptures!  Who does HE say that you are?  What does HE think about you? Don’t let someone else’s version of you redefine who you are!

• Guard your heart, but don’t harden it. Bitterness is a heavy chain that only binds you. Remember.... when you allow others to dictate how you view yourself, you're giving them control. Pray and ask God to keep your heart tender. 

• Pray for wisdom. I used to say it was a weakness of mine that I forgave easily.  That was a lie from hell!  We MUST forgive and do it constantly.  My weakness was that I never engaged boundaries with those that kept disrespecting me.  Not everyone deserves access to your heart. Ask God who to draw close and who to set boundaries with.  Pray that He shuts the mouths of the lions and silences the lies. 

• Let God handle your reputation. It may not feel like justice right now, but He’s working behind the scenes.  (real and raw moment here:  THIS was one of the HARDEST things I had to do...and it's only through God that I was able to do it!  I would defend myself until I was blue in the face.  I would do it until I eventually looked like I was emotionally unstable....and I was.  I was slowly losing myself through the confusion of WHY people I loved were hurting me like this. It was like they didn't love WHO I was, I wasn't enough for them. Manipulation and lies that are spread about you are spread with intention....to blind others to who you really are.) 

No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn.  This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord... - Isaiah 54:17

If you’re walking through this right now...

If your name is being dragged through conversations you’re not part of..

If your heart is breaking under the weight of false accusations....

 I am so deeply sorry and I want you to hear this loud and clear -

 You are not what they say about you.

You are not the story they’ve written.

You are loved. 

You are seen. 

You are known.

You are longed for.

You have purpose.

You matter.

And the truth will rise.

It may take time. It may not come from the people you want it to. But truth always rises because God is not mocked, and He defends the upright in heart.

So take a deep breath.
Speak your truth with grace when you need to.
And rest in the One who holds your name and your story in His hands.