He Knew My Face, Not Just My Voice

 In November of 2023, we said goodbye to Jimmy - our (almost) 15-year-old Lab. Even now, typing his name brings a lump to my throat. He wasn’t just a dog. 

He was a constant. 

A shadow.  

A warm body on cold days. 

A pair of trusting eyes on hard ones. 

Jimmy had a way of being right there without needing to be asked. Always present, always steady.

What made Jimmy so special wasn’t just how long he was with us - it was how he was with us. 

He had this talent to be able to listen to the look on my face. I didn’t even have to say a word! Especially when I was sweeping.....he would just lay there watching for eye contact to see if I was needing him to move or if he was okay to stay. That was our silent language. 

💕That was Jimmy.💕

We got him for free on Craigslist back in 2009. He grew up right alongside our kids, and he wasn’t just the family dog - he had a preference for Levi. And after Levi passed away… Jimmy was never quite the same. 

You could see it in his eyes. 

The spark dimmed. 

The years caught up with him fast after that. 💔

Losing him felt like someone pulled the thread holding parts of our world together.

People who’ve never loved a dog deeply might not understand how it levels you. You still call their name to tell them to come in.  Yes, I still do this from time to time. You still hear their paws on the floor. 

And then comes the guilt - I struggle with this every so often.  What if we put him down too soon? He could've had a good year left!  My husband is gentle to remind me that Jimmy was in pain, falling down the stairs, not being able to get up after he laid down.  He was literally wasting away to nothing but bones.  He was ready, and his eyes told us that it was time. 

But grief morphs. Some days it softens. Other days it hits like a wave all over again.

Now, I look at our remaining three dogs (Sophie, Lola, and Judah) and I can’t lie - I’m scared. You don't think of losing them when you get them.  They DON'T live forever.  

Every wag, every bark, every quiet nap in the sun feels like a countdown. It’s like knowing another storm is coming but not being able to stop the sky from darkening. I know the love we give them is worth the heartbreak that will eventually come, but that doesn’t make it easier. 

In fact, loving them so deeply sometimes makes the ache sharper, because I already know how it ends.

I’m not ready to go through it again.

But here’s the thing… if Jimmy taught me anything, it’s that the love we share with our dogs isn’t wasted. 

Not one belly rub. 

Not one tail wag. 

Not one muddy paw print on the floor. 

That love lives on long after they’re gone.

So for now, I’ll keep loving these three with everything I’ve got. I’ll soak in every snuggle, every silly bark, and every stinky fart (HAHA!). And when their time comes, I’ll let myself grieve deeply......because love like that deserves to be grieved.

If you’ve ever lost a dog, you know. You just know.

And if you’re like me....still holding on to the ones you have, not quite ready to face what’s ahead...know that you’re not alone.

We carry them in our hearts. And somehow, that makes the weight of their loss a little lighter.